I have something very personal to share today. For some it may be too personal, but I feel that what I’ve just experienced was a sign. A moment of clarity that I hope will happen to you when you are in desperate need of an answer.
I was lying in bed this morning. I had slept in very late due to a cold. As I laid there, I thought of one of my family members. This person is currently not speaking to me over an incident that happened 5 months ago. It has caused me much heartache to be without this person. I’ve never known of a time when they were not there. It’s that person whom I look up to more than anyone else. So you can understand the pain I have felt.
I have tried to contact this person several times over these past 5 months and they never answer my call. Again, I find myself in my bed conflicted over whether or not to try to call once more. So many emotions are running through me as I try to reach for the phone. I go to pick up the phone, but then I hesitate for fear of them not answering again. Suddenly, after I’ve convinced myself I will not call again, a bird flew onto my crape myrtle tree outside my bedroom window. I look closely and I immediately discover that this bird is a Phoebe. For those of you who read, “Garden Treasures in Winter,” you will understand why this bird is significant. She stands on the branch bobbing her tail, her soft grey color illuminated by the sun. I get up out of bed and walk to the window to be sure this is what I’m seeing. I have not seen this Phoebe in well over a year and I am astonished to discover her in this moment. So I stand there frozen, staring at her in complete disbelief. I then realize what this is telling me. She’s saying, “Call them, Darlene.” Out loud to her I say, “But what if they don’t answer?” Instantly a very clear voice says to me, “Then…you will move on.” My fear is still very strong, but I pick up the phone and dial. While I’m still watching her from the window, the phone rings and I breathe slowly to remain calm. The voicemail picks up, I hear their voice. I listen as if I will hear their voice for the last time. I leave no message. I put down the phone and I continue looking at this beautiful bird. In this moment I realize that I must give up. There is nothing left to do. Instead of the great despair I usually encounter after them not answering, I acknowledge something. Even though this person will not answer their phone, there are so many wonderful people in my life who will answer. People who are not even family. I am not alone, and I am loved.
After all this time this is the lesson I needed to learn. There are few moments in life such as these, but you must have your eyes open to receive them. To some this would have been just another bird outside their window that they may not have even noticed. But I did notice. This Phoebe came from afar to bring me a message.